This post on bustedhalo.com's Give Fast Pray Lenten calendar hits a little too close to home:
March 23
However, although I know the time will never be "right" I am still considering whether or not the decision is right.
Moving on...
Last week I broke my fast for Lent. On Tuesday night after school I was recovering from a pretty rough 24 hours. A friend had called me out on some poor behavior and I was feeling a lot of different things in connection to her accusations. Mostly, I thought she was being unfair, but I was also struck by how much I let her opinion affect me and how worried I felt that her opinion would influence how some of our mutual friends might think of me. I also received a very upsetting and frustrating e-mail from a parent in regards to her son's grades in my class.
Something I don't think many people realize is that when a student in failing in your class, the first thought most teachers have isn't "What's wrong with this kid?" the first thought is, "What's wrong with how I am teaching this kid?" Meaning, most teacher-- most good teachers-- blame themselves when a student doesn't succeed. It hurts to have a student not do well, and it makes me question what I am doing as a professional; but to then have a parent call you out on it, basically affirming all the terrible, negative things you think about yourself... well that's extremely hard to bare.
So, when I got home on Tuesday, I sat down on the couch, binge watched the entire series of The Jinx, and took a nap. This is exactly what I wanted to give up for Lent! Ugh, I felt like such a failure in that moment and the tone and overall theme of The Jinx did not help me to feel any better (though, I'll agree it is an awesome show. Highly recommend it.)
But did napping help? I woke up around 9 pm, made a quick plan for the next day, and officially went to sleep. Wednesday went much more smoothly. I got a better perspective on what happened between myself and my friend, and my meeting with the parent went so well that she even apologized for the tone of her e-mail. We were basically both able to discuss our concerns and frustrations with her son and created a better plan for helping him the future. I also had his reading support teacher sit in on the meeting and thank God I did! She is a veteran teacher who was able to give so many more ideas and thoughtful suggestions to the conversation than I ever could have.
Teaching is such a draining profession that it can be extremely rejuvenating to receive the advice of someone who has been at it for years--if not decades--because it let's you know that someone else has been there too and has gone on to not only survive, but to thrive in the classroom.
As for the issue with my friend, in the time since it happened, I realized the problem is not so much with me, but rather with her. Mr. Lincoln had it right when he said, "you can't please all of the people all of the time." In the end, I don't think anything major will come of it, and I'm happy to move on.
So yeah, I think the napped help. The problems all got fixed and everything calmed down without me doing anything but waiting. Sometimes that's all you have to do.
Monday, March 23, 2015
Monday, March 16, 2015
Blessed
Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.
Since we have finished all the work in our religion workbook (who makes a school workbook that only last 28 weeks, Sadlier?) I have now moved into putting a stronger focus on teaching my students what I like to call the "Catholic Fun Facts" that make up the archdiocesan curriculum.
This week and last we have been studying the 8 beatitudes that Jesus Christ taught to his disciples. I do love this 8 little phrases, and not just because they give me an excuse to sing Simon and Garfunkel. Today's beatitude was number five, which you can see posted above.
We did a fun reflection as a class that I've typically used in the past to help teach behavior in my classroom, but I felt it applied well to this beatitude as well.
Here it is:
Put your head down on your desk and close your eyes. Think of the person whom you consider to be your best friend ("DON'T POINT! Or say his or her name out loud. Just think" I always have to say. Nothing is less fun than the drama of someone crying because so-and-so said they weren't best friends). How does that person treat other people? Is she rude? Unkind? Mean? Does she spread rumors or make hurtful jokes? Hopefully, the answer to these questions is "no."
"When I think of my best friend," I tell the class, "I think of someone who is always kind, who always shares. Someone that wouldn't say something mean about me to other people. I think of someone who treats other people fairly." The way your best friend acts, is how you should act.
This reflection is great because it's two-fold. First, it makes students think about who their friends are, and whether those people are good friends or bad friends. In elementary school, especially at the age I teach, students start to get the itch to become "popular." This totally foreign, unimportant idea suddenly pops into their heads as the end all and be all of existence. It's such a sticky trap and it can lead to so much unnecessary grief. While I do believe the trials of adolescent angst serve a purpose in shaping who we are as adults, I also think the sooner this lesson is learned, the better. Good friends make you feel good about yourself.
The second, and more obvious lesson, is that it makes student's evaluate how they have acted towards their friends and other people. "Have I acted like someone who I would want to be friends with?" is the implied question they end up asking themselves. This is a lesson that gets a lot of those "oh!" faces kids make when a concept finally becomes clear to them.
Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy is basically Jesus's way of saying "karma's a bitch." If you do bad things, bad things come back to you. If you send out love and peace to all people you encounter, then life is as sweet as a spoonful of Cherry Garcia ice cream.
That's my happy note. Onto the less-happy note, but I promise it's brief.
I'm slacking to get a lot of things done in my life. I still cannot decide if I am settling, if I'm afraid, or if I'm content with where I am. I keep thinking, "do I feel like this isn't working because I haven't actually tried to make it work, or does it just not work?" If I really want to leave, then why am I hesitating so much? If the answer is because I am too afraid, then I am not the person I thought I was. Or maybe I'm not done with this place yet and that's a good thing. There is still growing and learning that I need to do here. There is something that's still here for me and I can't go until I find it. To everything there is a season, right? AHH!! I suppose adult angst is also a thing, huh?
Since we have finished all the work in our religion workbook (who makes a school workbook that only last 28 weeks, Sadlier?) I have now moved into putting a stronger focus on teaching my students what I like to call the "Catholic Fun Facts" that make up the archdiocesan curriculum.
This week and last we have been studying the 8 beatitudes that Jesus Christ taught to his disciples. I do love this 8 little phrases, and not just because they give me an excuse to sing Simon and Garfunkel. Today's beatitude was number five, which you can see posted above.
We did a fun reflection as a class that I've typically used in the past to help teach behavior in my classroom, but I felt it applied well to this beatitude as well.
Here it is:
Put your head down on your desk and close your eyes. Think of the person whom you consider to be your best friend ("DON'T POINT! Or say his or her name out loud. Just think" I always have to say. Nothing is less fun than the drama of someone crying because so-and-so said they weren't best friends). How does that person treat other people? Is she rude? Unkind? Mean? Does she spread rumors or make hurtful jokes? Hopefully, the answer to these questions is "no."
"When I think of my best friend," I tell the class, "I think of someone who is always kind, who always shares. Someone that wouldn't say something mean about me to other people. I think of someone who treats other people fairly." The way your best friend acts, is how you should act.
This reflection is great because it's two-fold. First, it makes students think about who their friends are, and whether those people are good friends or bad friends. In elementary school, especially at the age I teach, students start to get the itch to become "popular." This totally foreign, unimportant idea suddenly pops into their heads as the end all and be all of existence. It's such a sticky trap and it can lead to so much unnecessary grief. While I do believe the trials of adolescent angst serve a purpose in shaping who we are as adults, I also think the sooner this lesson is learned, the better. Good friends make you feel good about yourself.
The second, and more obvious lesson, is that it makes student's evaluate how they have acted towards their friends and other people. "Have I acted like someone who I would want to be friends with?" is the implied question they end up asking themselves. This is a lesson that gets a lot of those "oh!" faces kids make when a concept finally becomes clear to them.
Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy is basically Jesus's way of saying "karma's a bitch." If you do bad things, bad things come back to you. If you send out love and peace to all people you encounter, then life is as sweet as a spoonful of Cherry Garcia ice cream.
That's my happy note. Onto the less-happy note, but I promise it's brief.
I'm slacking to get a lot of things done in my life. I still cannot decide if I am settling, if I'm afraid, or if I'm content with where I am. I keep thinking, "do I feel like this isn't working because I haven't actually tried to make it work, or does it just not work?" If I really want to leave, then why am I hesitating so much? If the answer is because I am too afraid, then I am not the person I thought I was. Or maybe I'm not done with this place yet and that's a good thing. There is still growing and learning that I need to do here. There is something that's still here for me and I can't go until I find it. To everything there is a season, right? AHH!! I suppose adult angst is also a thing, huh?
Thursday, March 5, 2015
Katharine Drexel
As a fourth grade teacher, my responsibilities for the Religious curriculum do not focus heavily on teaching "Lives of the Saints." However, I am required to focus on a few saints, mainly ones with significance to Philadelphia and the United States, since that's what we study in Social Studies and, you know... cross curricular teaching for the win.
This past Tuesday was the feast day of St. Katharine Drexel who, if you are unfamiliar with her, is a pretty boss lady. When she was growing up her family was enormously wealthy, but also charitable as all get out. Every week, her parents who give out food, clothing, money and let homeless people sleep in their house-- which is now, ironically, a Club Monaco store.
When her parents died, Katharine gave away all her money. A headline in a Philly newspaper read "Miss Drexel enters Catholic Convent-- Gives Up 7 Million." She spent the rest of her life dedicating herself to the education of Black and Native Americans. She opened schools, founded an order of nuns, and basically balled out all over this land. Also, she became a saint by curing people of deafness, which is like the oldest Jesus trick in the book, but she did it from beyond the grave. Snaps for Katie.
If you follow the Bustedhalo.com Fast, Pray, Give Lenten calendar, you may have noticed that she was the featured quotation on Tuesday.
"The patient and humble endurance of the cross-- whatever it may be-- is the highest work we have to do"
In other words, keep on keepin' on. As we trudge through the end of winter, not so patiently awaiting the arrival of the spring, it can be difficult to remember that all trials and difficulties we face eventually lead us to something better. This is especially important to recall on days when the only thing that feels worth doing to getting in bed and calling it quits.
For Lent this year I gave up napping. This is because I felt that I was using sleep as an escape from real responsibility. I went through of period of a few weeks where almost every day when I came home from work I would eat something and then fall asleep. This hurt my work as a teacher and it also effected my other relationships with friends and roommates.
Since I have given up naps, however, I actually feel that I have more energy. Days in school are going more smoothly, because I'm giving more time to planning when I get home. I've been able to actually watch The Bachelor with my roommates, something that on the surface is a tad superficial, but the time spent together is invaluable.
I know I still have a long way to go in using my time more wisely-- i.e. getting to the gym or focusing on more productive hobbies than just watching Netflix-- but in general, I think I am doing well. St. Katharine's words motivate me to not give up and resign myself to complacency, but rather to keep the struggle alive, because eventually it will pay off. As they say, I can sleep when I'm dead.
This past Tuesday was the feast day of St. Katharine Drexel who, if you are unfamiliar with her, is a pretty boss lady. When she was growing up her family was enormously wealthy, but also charitable as all get out. Every week, her parents who give out food, clothing, money and let homeless people sleep in their house-- which is now, ironically, a Club Monaco store.
When her parents died, Katharine gave away all her money. A headline in a Philly newspaper read "Miss Drexel enters Catholic Convent-- Gives Up 7 Million." She spent the rest of her life dedicating herself to the education of Black and Native Americans. She opened schools, founded an order of nuns, and basically balled out all over this land. Also, she became a saint by curing people of deafness, which is like the oldest Jesus trick in the book, but she did it from beyond the grave. Snaps for Katie.
If you follow the Bustedhalo.com Fast, Pray, Give Lenten calendar, you may have noticed that she was the featured quotation on Tuesday.
"The patient and humble endurance of the cross-- whatever it may be-- is the highest work we have to do"
In other words, keep on keepin' on. As we trudge through the end of winter, not so patiently awaiting the arrival of the spring, it can be difficult to remember that all trials and difficulties we face eventually lead us to something better. This is especially important to recall on days when the only thing that feels worth doing to getting in bed and calling it quits.
For Lent this year I gave up napping. This is because I felt that I was using sleep as an escape from real responsibility. I went through of period of a few weeks where almost every day when I came home from work I would eat something and then fall asleep. This hurt my work as a teacher and it also effected my other relationships with friends and roommates.
Since I have given up naps, however, I actually feel that I have more energy. Days in school are going more smoothly, because I'm giving more time to planning when I get home. I've been able to actually watch The Bachelor with my roommates, something that on the surface is a tad superficial, but the time spent together is invaluable.
I know I still have a long way to go in using my time more wisely-- i.e. getting to the gym or focusing on more productive hobbies than just watching Netflix-- but in general, I think I am doing well. St. Katharine's words motivate me to not give up and resign myself to complacency, but rather to keep the struggle alive, because eventually it will pay off. As they say, I can sleep when I'm dead.
Monday, March 2, 2015
First Post
"This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, a hope both sure and steadfast ..."
- Hebrews 6:19
Lent began about 2 weeks ago and while my "fast" for Lent is napping (I assure you, the struggle is real) I always try to also "take up" something during this time of the year.
Usually, I focus on some form of self improvement like exercise. One year, I tried writing a letter a day for Lent. That one was not so successful.
Lately, I have felt the need to reconnect with my faith and explore my relationship with God. I am anticipating the next year to be one of big changes and growth, but I also am very happy with many of the things in my life, so I hope that not too much changes. It is my goal to use this blog to explore what things in my life are being called to change, and which things need to stay as they are.
Reflection has been a big part of my life since I started college at a Jesuit institution in New England (not BC. Boo, BC) and then extended my love of the Jesuits but going to grad school in Philadelphia (yes, that one). Now that I am finished both undergrad and post-grad degrees, I find that I do not always give this element of my life as much focus as I could. I truly miss it.
My goal is to post weekly, if not more, and practice reflection, mindfulness, and self-knowledge. I am also an Ultimate player, a teacher, and an avid reader (on my better days) so I will most likely include stories of my various struggles and triumphs in those areas.
Thanks for stopping by to read!
God bless,
MV
- Hebrews 6:19
Lent began about 2 weeks ago and while my "fast" for Lent is napping (I assure you, the struggle is real) I always try to also "take up" something during this time of the year.
Usually, I focus on some form of self improvement like exercise. One year, I tried writing a letter a day for Lent. That one was not so successful.
Lately, I have felt the need to reconnect with my faith and explore my relationship with God. I am anticipating the next year to be one of big changes and growth, but I also am very happy with many of the things in my life, so I hope that not too much changes. It is my goal to use this blog to explore what things in my life are being called to change, and which things need to stay as they are.
Reflection has been a big part of my life since I started college at a Jesuit institution in New England (not BC. Boo, BC) and then extended my love of the Jesuits but going to grad school in Philadelphia (yes, that one). Now that I am finished both undergrad and post-grad degrees, I find that I do not always give this element of my life as much focus as I could. I truly miss it.
My goal is to post weekly, if not more, and practice reflection, mindfulness, and self-knowledge. I am also an Ultimate player, a teacher, and an avid reader (on my better days) so I will most likely include stories of my various struggles and triumphs in those areas.
Thanks for stopping by to read!
God bless,
MV
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